SUMMER IS HERE! :D

Hi,

Granny is filling the pool. I love it! I have been playing with my wee sharkie in the waters too. It's fun!

I'm planting my own vegetables this summer! They're going to be BIG like my pumpkins last year!

I'll be inviting my friend Dimwitman over to play in the pool this summer. He likes to play sports; I call him a dumb jock for it! But he likes fishies like me! We both love fishies!

Bye.

Easter and New Bunnies

Howdy y'all!

I got new bunnies for Easter! Granny named them Margaret and Hazel. But I wanted to call them Big Ears and Fluffy Tail! I got a TON of chocolate! BUT Daisy stole one of my chocolate bunnies! Then she puked and then I puked!

Granny is ANNOYING! She/he keeps talking about the Royal Wedding! She/he wants to have everything British-like in our house that day! She/he even wants me to dress nicely that day!

I can't wait for the summer because I'm looking forward to filling up the pool and swimming in it!

I have a new friend I nicknamed Dimwitman. We're best friends! We've even gotten trapped in the pool a few times now! Granny points at the stairs every time. Anyhow, we thought we were goners!

Bye y'all!

Stupidman's Valentine's Day

Hi,
Valentine's Day was great! I went to Elora with Rat and Pig to scare lovers who were looking over the gorge. I asked Pig and Rat if I could push one couple over but they said no because you'll get attacked by men in blue.
Granny's Valentine's day sounded boring.
I made a new friend too. I met him at the ice cream store and he was asking for fishy crackers on his ice cream. I looked at him and he looked at me and said "I like fishies". So now he's my friend.
good bye,
Stupidman

Guest Post by Mr. Rat

Greetings,
this is Mr. Rat. I brought my axe outside to get some firewood but I found a bunch of huge icicles hanging off the cliffs. So I grabbed my axe and swung it at one and it cracked and all of them fell. I jumped out of the way! Then behind the icicles I found a cave so I went inside. I found a few chicken bones. I thought there would be an ogre inside so I went in deeper but instead I found smashed beer bottles and a KFC box.
I think a bunch of drunk idiots were here once.
I went back home and told Mr. Pig.
farewell,
Mr. Rat

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

this is Stupidman. I have been busy trying to catch Santa Claus. On Christmas Eve I saw Santa putting gifts under our tree so I whipped a piece of coal at his head. And then when I ran over to see what he looked like, I fell asleep.

Rat and Pig gave us the tree.
I made a big snowman outside and when I woke up in the mroning, it was wearing armour and holding weapons!

Christmas dinner was tasty! Granny is a good cook! For presents I got a train set, a remote control helicopter, a sling shot, a pack of marbles, some hand-knit mittens and hat made by Granny, a fishing rod and a fishing kit. Pig and Rat gave me a mace and a chain mail helmut.

I gave Rat and Pig two remote control cars so we can all race together. I gave Granny a cook book on how to make gingerbread men.

I had a very good Christmas!
bye,
Stupidman

ps Granny has a bump on her head

Guinea Pigs

Hello,

this is Stupidman.

Yesterday I was playing in my treehouse and my snowman threatened me. Pig and Rat told me that snowmen can come alive and strangle you, so I didn't give it any arms but I was still scared because it still has teeth! I put vampire teeth in it's mouth. I was so scared, that I didn't want to leave the treehouse.

Then I smelled cookies! I looked out the window to see if it was the snowman who left the cookies, but it was Granny. So I jumped down and squashed the snowman's body! Now I'm not afraid and I have yummy cookies to eat!

This morning Pig and Rat came over to play with me. They gave me a box and I thought it was cookies. I opened it up and saw two guinea pigs. I named them Blonde Hair Guinea pig and Red Hair Guinea pig, but Granny thought those names were stupid and renamed them Caroline and Winnifred. They are pretty names too!

bye bye,

Stupidman

ps Don't eat the yellow snow! I found that out this morning. It tastes awful. Not at all like lemons.

psss I think the snowman peed when I jumped on it and it went squish.

Halloween Party

Hi,
this is Stupidman. Granny and me had a big Halloween party on Saturday night! I dressed up as a merman. I looked really neat. Granny was a druid with flowers. We had lots of guests and they looked really cool in their costumes. We played games and ate lots of treats. I'm still feeling sick.
I dressed up my puppy Daisy as a flower dog and my puppy Lily has a merdog. They looked very cute. Mr Rat dressed up his pet rat as a ninja and Mr Pig dressed up his pet pig as a samarai. They looked adorable.
But the rat jumped onto the pig and the pig squealed and ran. Granny was unhappy but I thought it was funny.
Then we heard rustling in the bushes outside so Rat, Pig and I went out to see what was there, but it was just one of the cats. Pig and Rat tackled it and put it back inside the house. Pig and Rat say there are wolves outside at night. I was scared. But I'm not scared of the decorations anymore!
bye bye,
Stupidman

Halloween and Merman

Hi,

this is Stupidman.

Granny and I are having a party on Saturday. I am going to dress like a merman. Granny made me the costume. Granny has been putting up very creepy things all over the house. I do not like them at all because they scare me. Granny says they're fake but I don't believe him/her. I keep pulling them down.

Granny has been baking alot too. And making potions which I keep drinking. They are very tasty.

I carved my pumpkins today. They look very cool. I want to go trick or treating but Granny thinks I'm too old.

bye,

Stupidman

ps the picture of the merman is just like the costume Granny made for me!

ps Granny says to say Thank you for the award

Thanksgiving

Hi,

this is Stupidman. Granny made a feast last night, he/she made all my favourites. Everything was very yummy. She/he even made me fish. Granny told me not to drink the wine but Pig and Rat and I snuck a taste in the kitchen and spit it out. It tasted gross.

Rat's pet rat kept trying to get at the turkey. It was very funny. Pig's pet pig kept making funny noises. I think the pig was drunk because Pig kept feeding it wine and it couldn't walk a straight line.

So Granny put them both outside with Hagface and Lily and the dogs. When I called my dog Lily to come in, the other human Lily would come in too. She smells really bad. And Hagface licked my ear. She said I had mashed potatoes in it.

My fingers hurt. I kept trying to put out the candles with them. Rat and Pig say to put water on it. Pig can put candles out with his fingers and it doesn't hurt him. Granny says I need new friends.

bye,
Stupidman

new best friends

Hi,

this is Stupidman. This morning I built a scare crow. It's a really cool scare crow too. I made the head out of one of my smaller pumpkins.

Then I went to play in my tree house. There were two weird guys in it. One was chubby and one was skinny. They said their names were Mr Pig and Mr Rat.

Mr Rat said the scare crow was going to attack us in the middle of the night. Mr Pig shot it with his cross bow and said it was dead. They said they are going to be my new best friends. I invited them to our Thanksgiving dinner. I will tell Granny.

I found out who gave me the crossbow for my birthday! It was Mr Pig and Mr Rat. We are going to use other scarecrows for target practice.

I'm going to go inside now to tell Granny about my new best friends!

bye,

Stupidman

Tree House, BBQ and Chicken

Hi,

Me and Granny went to Dagwood's BBQ last week. It was fun! But Tanktop Tammy and Lawnboy Larry were mean and ate all the food and drank all the beer. I wanted to try the beer but Granny said no. I snuck a taste and put the rest on the table and Tanktop Tammy drank it.

Lawnboy Larry made a death threat. I will take revenge.

I finished my tree house! With the help of the fairies! I found two fairies sleeping in it. They had a magical pig and a magical rat. They flew out the window. I heard squish. Daisy and Lily chased them. I like my tree house. I like to swing on the tire swing.

Granny's baking pies again. She/he let me lick the bowl!

Granny found out about the fence-oh oh! And a chicken ran into our yard. Me and Daisy and Lily chased it.

bye,

Stupidman

Tree House and Pumpkins

Hi,
I am building a tree house! All by myself. With instructions I got off the internet. It's going to be a very cool tree house with lots of cool colours and fish stuff. Granny's going to make the fish stuff.
I'm hoping to have it done before Halloween so I can decorate with pumpkins.
It is hard to build a tree house but it is fun. Don't tell Granny where I got the wood! (it's from the fence-tehe) I will replace it when I'm done. Granny supplied alot of the wood but I needed more!

The pumpkins I planted over summer are getting very big. Granny gives me a small section of her/his garden for my stuffs.

I like playing in the mud when it rains.

I will be putting my camping gear inside my treehouse and have sleepovers with Dagwood and gang.

I got to run, Granny's calling!
bye,
Stupidman

My Birthday!

Hi,

a couple days ago was my birthday party. I had a sleep over with Dagwood, Wayne and Eddie. We slept in my new orange tent. I heard a creepy howl and got real scared and ran out of the tent but ran into the pool. I got wet. I had to go inside to get dried off. It turns out it was only Daisy! I thought it was a wolf! But Granny said wolves don't live in these parts.

I got great presents! My friends went together and got me camping supplies and pots and pans. I like to clang them together.

Also a note was left outside my tent that said happy birthday and someone left a weird looking crossbow and fifty arrows. Granny says I can't use it unless she/he's there with me.

I still don't know how they got into our backyard? Everything is fenced.

Dagwood told us creepy stories all night and I got so scared, I peed. Don't tell Granny or the guys.

I had a great birthday party!

bye,

Stupidman

It's My Birthday! :)

Hi,

it's my birthday today! I'm 25 today! Me and Granny rode bikes to a park where we had a picnic. Granny packed sandwiches, cake, and cupcakes. Then we went to a store and bought ice cream. A stupid wasp tried to steal my ice cream but I brought my zapper and zapped it so it flew away.

Granny bought me a segway-it is fun to drive. I fell off of it twice, but don't tell Granny! She/he also bought me a toy orange car, my own orange camping tent, a new gold fish and a hand knitted orange sweater!

Dagwood and friends are coming over on the weekend to give me presents.

Now I'm at home and tired from the bike riding. It was a fun birthday!

Beach and Fort Adventures

Hi,

I'm Stupidman. Me and Granny went to a fort and the beach last week. The beach was nice. I brought Lily and Daisy. I dug holes in the sand but no one fell into them this time. Granny told me to suntan lotion but I forgot and turned red.

At the fort, I got to try on a soldier's coat. It got stuck on me and I panicked. Granny had to take it off. I also ran in front of the soldiers while they shot their guns off but I didn't die. I only pretended to be fake dead. Granny was mad and so were the soldiers.

I stuck my head inside a cannon when the soldier was about to fire it off. He yelled at me to 'get my head out idiot', so Granny pulled my head out.

So that's about it from me,

Stupidman

Camping with Granny

Hi,

I'm Stupidman. I went camping this weekend with Granny. I played in the waterfall. I tried to climb it but fell. I tried to drink out of the water but Granny said no.

It was a fun trip until the night time came. When Granny and I were going back to camp, we heard rustling in the bushes and we saw two beady black eyes. I threw a rock at it. It hissed. I ran to the tent.

Then at three in the morning we heard two screams and one squeal that sounded like a pig. Then something ran past our tent giggling and evil cackling. I was scared so I grabbed my axe.

The rest of the night was peaceful. But I was scared. Then we went home.

Granny says he/she is taking me to a fort and a beach next week. Can't wait!

bye,

Stupidman

Gnome in Bed and Kitten in Garden

Hi,

I'm Stupidman. I can't get to sleep. So I'm using Granny's computer.

Granny told me it was Daisy who brought the gnome into my room. I think she did it to scare me!

This is my new kitten. I found it in our garden. It was squeaking. I'm going to ask Granny if I can keep it. I'm going to call her Squeak Toy. She is so cute. I think she's a she? I hope.

Bye

Gnome Nightmares

Hi,

yesterday Granny brought home 10 new garden gnomes. I had to help put them in the yard and it took all day and now my back hurts. Last night they gave me nightmares. The sleeping one popped up on my bed. And it wasn't a dream! Creepy.

The top one is my favourite, Granny's favourite is the bottom one and the middle one was on my bed last night.

Granny's July Tea Party

Hello,

the party was fun! The cake was delicious. I ate alot of treats. Then I puked.

I threw balloons in the pool and jumped on them. I went under water and popped one.

Then I went into the house and got Sharky and threw him in the pool. It hit Granny in the back and she/he got mad and told me not to throw my toys. But I told her/him it wasn't a toy and everyone screamed and ran out of the pool. They scared Sharky and he bit me but I didn't tell Granny because she/he would get angry at Sharky.

Granny told me to get my scythe and pitch fork because Tanktop Tammy had come. I wanted to use my torch but Granny said no because it was day time. I threw my pitch fork and hit SuperDuper in the leg and I went to hit Tanktop Tammy in the neck with my scythe but she grabbed it and wouldn't let go. I was scared and yelled for Granny.Then the whole party came to get her but she threatened us and I was scared. Then Lily jumped down from the trees and bit Tanktop Tammy on her meaty neck and Tanktop Tammy ran away.

At midnight I woke up and heard a shot. I asked Granny what happened and she/he said I shot at Tanktop Tammy and I said good. Then I went back to sleep.

ps I wasn't really in those balloons from before!

Happy Canada Day!

Hello,

yesterday we went to the beach and it was alot of fun! Granny wanted to go to the forts but I wanted to go to the beach, so we went to the beach.

Granny bought me a blow up boat which I really liked. Daisy was trying to bite it.

I dug three holes in the sand and put leaves over top. I watched as two teenagers, a couple, a patrol officer and a little kid fall in! Luckily Granny didn't fall in because she/he gets mad.

Daisy peed on the little kid that fell into the hole.

The couple that fell in the hole attacked me but Granny shooed them off me with her/his umbrella.

When we got home Granny made a cake and it was yummy. It was strawberry and vanilla.

Happy Canada Day!